No Fishing Zone

Fishing for compliments is a sport that never seems to satisfy because you’re angling for compliments that might not otherwise be given. That coerced compliment doesn’t mean much; it basically means that the other person was nice enough to verbally give you what you want to hear…it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true.

When someone is obviously fishing for a compliment, my natural inclination is not to give it. Maybe that sounds cold, but if I give a compliment under emotional duress then it just reinforces to that person that fishing for compliments gets them results (and then they’re more likely to repeat this fishing expedition with me in the future). And I’m not interested in giving compliments when they’re not freely given.

Compliments shouldn’t be sought out, they should be unexpected surprises; something out of the blue that is true and sincere. Because when you fish for compliments, you’re fishing in shallow waters, and anything you catch probably lacks substance. And really, doesn’t that fishing seem like a lot of work just to pull out a compliment from another? It’s just better all-around for that fish to jump right out of the water and directly into your hands with no effort from you at all…now that’s my kind of fishing.

Give Them My Best

One social nicety I’ve never really cared about giving or receiving is the “give them my best” message. Every so often someone will tell me that so-and-so gives me “their best” and I never have a response to that other than “okay, thanks.” I mean we don’t go around wishing people the worst; so it kind of goes with out saying that people generally want the best for others.

Sometimes someone will tell me to give this message of goodwill to another and I nod and say “okay”…but I’m lying; I don’t relay that message. No one knows one way or another if I give that message, and to me it’s an unnecessary message. It’s like getting a generic “thinking of you” card with a signature; there’s no personalization to the message, just a somewhat thoughtful yet bland gesture.

To me, this gesture of goodwill is a throwback to when people didn’t have direct means of communication (I’m thinking Laura Ingalls’ time when people lived miles apart). When people were unable to call others on the phone (let alone email), so having a third-party relay messages made more sense (because that actually would be the quickest way to give another their regards).

But now we do have many means of communication, so anyone can give anyone else “their best” without someone else (e.g. me) being in the middle of it. I’m not a message board to give and retrieve messages (and let’s be honest, I’m a terribly unreliable message board at that). So if you want to give someone your best, then go ahead and do it directly to that person and cut the middleman out.

That’s the End?

Sometimes the end of an interesting movie or book seems to come suddenly…and with little satisfaction. There are of course rare times where this is kind of ending is appropriate and makes sense (at least to me), but most of the time it frustrates me and I just throw my hands in the air and say “What! That’s it?"

It’s really disappointing when an ending feels unresolved because you’ve invested time and energy into seeing how a character and story develops so you want to feel as though that time was worth it, but instead you feel gypped. Betrayed that your expectations of a satisfying ending were dashed, and that you’re only left with a hollow feeling of discontent.

With a bad from the beginning movie or book, I’ll quickly realize I don’t want any part of it and will set it aside before I waste too much of my time. But a seemingly good movie or book with a bad ending is like a bait-and-switch, because you were prepared to enjoy the story all the way through but instead you’re given an ending that sours the entire story (and even when you recall it later, what stays in your mind is how disappointed in the ending you were). It’s like finishing a delicious meal with a dessert that leaves a bitter aftertaste—and you just can’t seem to get rid of that bad aftertaste.

DIY: Tiered Paper Fan Flower Ornament

This tiered ornament is based upon the Paper Fan Flower Ornament and can be used as Christmas ornaments or as party decorations.

Does This Make Me Look Fat? ...Probably.

Some questions are better left unasked, like “Does this make me look fat?” First off, it’s a poorly phrased question that immediately brings to mind the “fatness” level of a person (which isn’t necessarily the reason why something looks good on someone or not). The question should be: “Is this flattering on me?” Because it’s the cut of the garment and how it fits on you that makes all the difference of whether or not it looks good.

“Does this make me look fat?” is a question no one wants to answer because it’s a dumb question. You just can’t win. If they look terrible, do you tell them? Or do you lie and “spare their feelings,” even though that doesn’t really help them at all (it just helps you avoid an unpleasant conversation). And even if they happen to look great and you tell them so, often they just don’t believe you because they’ve already made up their mind…and usually it’s not good.

When people love what they’re wearing they don’t ask: “Does this make me look fat?” because they know they look fantastic. They tend to ask this dreaded question when they already think they look bad in something. So instead of asking someone else whether a garment makes you look fat, just look in the mirror and decide for yourself whether you feel comfortable and think it looks good (since after all it’s only you that’ll be wearing it). Because no one enjoys answering the rigged question of “Does this make me look fat?” And you don’t really want to hear, “Yes, it does.”