Celebrate with Crap

Does anyone ever want a stuffed bear holding a heart? Does anyone ever want a Santa mug? I’m guessing for a vast majority of us, it’s a resounding “No.” Most of us don’t need more stuff that will just sit around accumulating dust—especially seasonal junk. Yet holidays in particular seem to be overwhelmed with junk you can get your friends, family and significant other. [Pause.] It’s depressing.

This is the type of “gift” that people open, take a deep breath in to give themselves a moment to think and then say in a falsely happy voice, “Oh! You shouldn’t have!” And think to themselves, “Seriously. You shouldn’t have. What am I going to do with this?” [Pause.] “It’s going to Goodwill.”

Ideally, the purpose of giving a gift is to give something that the other person will like, not just giving a gift for the sake of giving a gift. But I suppose people often give obligatory gifts, and that’s where these crappy presents come into play. It’s the most selfish of gifts to give because you’re not thinking of the other person at all. You’re not taking into consideration their likes and interests, you’re just picking the easy thing that’s right in front of you at the department store or supermarket or convenience store. It’s lazy. And wasteful if the present isn’t used.

No one is really excited about giving or getting a one of these mass-produced and utterly unnecessary items as presents. So don’t waste your money on crap that will go unappreciated because it’s not worth being appreciated. It’s supposed to be the thought that counts…although you wouldn’t know it from all the crap out there.

Forgotten Sweetness

I don’t eat candy often. Gummi candies don’t really interest me. Some hard candies I like but don’t eat often. When I want candy, I want chocolate, and I’ll occasionally have it, but it’s dark chocolate. I tend to avoid the mainstream cheap candy bars that are just too sweet for me. I’ll see TV commercials for them and feel nothing (well, maybe just a bit skeptical at their claims). When I’m at the supermarket I never look at these candy bars (that are supposed to be “tempting” at the checkout line) with desire, so I don’t buy them or eat them.

A co-worker brought unwanted Halloween candy to work and left them in a bowl in the kitchen for anyone to take. These free small candy bars were sitting there and I’ll admit, my resistance was low. My brain said, “Don’t eat them. You know they’ll be too sweet.” But my stomach said, “Go ahead, have some. It’s been a long time.” And it has been a long time. I’m guessing the last time I had any of these sugary concoctions was last Halloween. [Pause.] I’d actually forgotten what a lot of these candies taste like.

So I ate some Halloween candy. The Almond Joy was pretty good because I like coconut and almonds enough that I could over look the milk chocolate coating. I’ve always been ambivalent of Snickers, but when I had them this time, I liked them even less—they’re just too sweet. As a child I liked Kit Kats, but when I had them this time I was overcome by its cloying sweetness. Luckily, Halloween candy is smaller than full-size candy bars, so I only had a couple of bites of these “fun-size” candies—which was more than enough for me. I came to conclusion that, yes, my brain was right: stay away from these overly sweet sweets. If I’m going to eat candy, I’m getting chocolate that actually tastes like chocolate, not candy that just tastes like sugar.

Nothing Looks Good. [Pause.] Good.

On Monday we often have pastries at work (perhaps to help lessen the blow of a Monday morning). The actual assortment varies, sometimes it’s doughnuts, danishes and muffins, but often it’s English muffins and bagels and sometimes fruit. I’m always curious to see what the selection is, but I rarely eat the pastries because I’m a snob. If these pastry goods are from the supermarket then I ignore them. I turn my nose up at cheap overly sweet doughnuts and mediocre bagels. They don’t look delicious. They don’t taste delicious. And any time I breakdown and have some, I always regret it because they’re just not worth it.

However, once in a blue moon there are good pastries from an actual bakery. There are flakey buttery croissants and slightly sweet muffins and scones. I know I shouldn’t partake, but good pastries are difficult to resist because they’re tasty. After careful consideration I’ll often select a pastry to eat. And while I don’t regret these pastries for their delicious flavors, I often regret my lack of restraint of eating something so bad for me that inevitably spoils my lunch.

So I always have mixed feelings on Monday morning when I see supermarket pastries. A part of me is disappointed because I want good pastries, but another part of me is relieved because it’s easy to say no to supermarket pastries. I certainly don’t need to be eating pastries and it’s rather nice to have a reason not to eat them.

Shopping Depression

I often feel depressed when I go shopping at stores selling brand-new items. It didn’t use to happen. Once upon a time I liked to shop at these stores, and I would often go to the mall, discount stores, craft stores, your all-purpose has everything stores—just about any store (except thrift shops—this was during my pre-thrift days); I enjoyed browsing and impulsively buying things I didn’t need. Now I tend to go to stores selling new items when I’m specifically looking for something. I don’t enjoy window-shopping the way I used to anymore.

The problem is I often just see a sea of crap; just poorly made items made of low-end materials all for a “low low price!” [Sigh.] Don’t get me wrong, I’ve fallen for this before. I’ve bought my share of cheap crap. Besides an array of cheap clothes, I’ve bought a lot of craft supplies. I like to make stuff, and I would go into a craft store and there were beads, chains, yarn, wood blocks, drawing pads, paints, pencils, containers and pretty much any craft supply you could imagine. I bought enough stuff that I feel like I became my own little crafts store.

But no more. I feel like I hardly buy anything new any more. And I’m just surprised at the 180 I did. It started off slow. A few years ago, a friend took me to a thrift shop and I’ll admit, I was skeptical. [Pause.] Okay, I was a snob. I didn’t want used items. Other people wore it? Ew, gross. But of course I found something I wanted: a cream Ann Taylor top. I think I got it for $8 and I’ve worn it with skirts and jeans; and with that one top, I think I was hooked. At first I went to thrift shops infrequently, but as time went on, I became used to thrift shops and started to prefer them not only for the price, but also for the constant influx of different items.

And now, when I go to the mall I almost feel full of resignation. It’s just not fun for me anymore. I won’t really want to go in, but I’ll want to go to that one store where I may find a good pair of shoes. And sometimes out of shear curiosity, I’ll briefly check out the clothing they’re selling at the mall, but I quickly get depressed at the monotony and low quality of it all. I just don’t see anything I want to buy. [Pause.] On the up side, it makes shopping a much quicker and cheaper experience for me.

The Absent-Minded Lesson

It’s often the mundane tasks that I’ll make a stupid mistake because I’m not giving it my full attention. It could be because I’m in a rush or feeling tired or I’m thinking of something else, so I’ll mess up unbeknownst to me (and will later kick myself over it).

Somehow grocery shopping will get the better of me; it’s the bagging of groceries that I’ll make a dumb mistake: I’ll forget a bag. This time is was some meat. A few months back it was a bag of apples. The time before that was meat (but I remembered about it in the parking lot and went back in the store and luckily it was still there—which was nice).

I suppose this time I could’ve gone back to the supermarket to see if my meat was still there, but considering the time and drive, it just didn’t seem worth it. Fifteen minutes to get there, park, go inside and find the cashier to ask about my forgotten meat and then drive back seemed like a lot of effort—especially if my meat was no longer there. It was late and I was tired, so I cut my losses. It sucks but maybe this time the lesson of forgotten groceries will finally stick. [Pause.] I’d really like not to relearn this lesson again. [Sigh.]

This Shouldn’t be Too Bad…

Looking over my pile of patterns, I decided to try sewing this scallop dress from 1968. It’s a “how to sew” pattern so I thought I’d be done in no time. It only has a few pattern pieces and it’s a simple silhouette. How hard could it be? And it’s with that thinking that I jinxed myself. (I swear, looking back I felt like I was the dumb character in a horror movie that hears “something” in the basement and decides to investigate, saying the famous last words: I’ll be right back.) I assumed that I would have no problems and my confidence/cockiness got the best of me. [Sigh.]

One stupid thing I did early on was insert the zipper to the wrong sides of the back pattern pieces. I just wasn’t paying attention and sewed it completely in before I realized my mistake and then I had to take it out and put it in again (at the correct spot). So that sucked.

Another thing I did wrong was the sewing of the front facing. I tried on the dress after the facing was attached and I thought the neckline felt odd—it was too high up for my liking but I didn’t do anything to fix it. Looking at the directions later, I saw that I was supposed to sew the neckline deeper in the front (thus bringing the neckline lower down).

After these two mishaps occurred, I was on the fence about finishing this dress. I was about half way done and I wasn’t excited about it. But I figured that since I’d already cut the material and was hours into the project, I might as well finish it. However, my lack of enthusiasm for the dress made me less motivated to work on it, so it kind of sat around for a while until I finally decided I should just finish it and get it over with.

I wasn’t crazy about the fit of the dress; it was looser than I liked. I wanted my dress to fit closer to the body (like in 1 white dress) rather than looser (like in 2 dress). So I took in the sides and then that messed up the armholes, so I had to cut them a bit deeper and then that messed up the armhole facings. It was just a domino effect of disaster. The pattern didn’t share the finished size of the garment, so I probably should have measured the pieces to get a better idea of the finished size. [Pause.] But I didn’t and this screwed me over later.

When I started this project I’d wanted to put scallops at the bottom of the dress, but I nixed it in favor of a quick hem. I was so over this dress. I made so many mistakes because I wasn’t reading the directions properly or wasn’t paying attention or rushed it. It was rather torturous. I’m glad it’s over.

Singed Gray Dress

Not long ago I picked up this sewing pattern and I thought I could use some lightweight gray fabric I had in my fabric stash to make this dress. It was a pretty simple dress to make; a pullover with an elastic waist and buttons down the front (and pockets).

I didn’t run into any snags while sewing this dress; it was fairly straightforward. I think it turned out fine. However, I wouldn’t ever wear this dress without some sort of belt (it looks a bit saggy and sad); it desperately needs a belt to help cinch everything in.

So I was fairly satisfied when I finished this dress. And then I took a closer look at it and saw slight burned marks on the front of the dress. At some point in time, the iron must have been too hot and scorched the fabric a toasty brown. From a distance it’s not very noticeable, but as you get closer you might think it’s a light coffee stain. Super disappointing. I’m not sure when I singed the fabric, but it kind of sucks since I’m done sewing this dress (and spent all that time and energy making something that’s already flawed). [Grrrr.]

Pajamas. [Yawn.]

I’m never excited to shop for pajamas because they’re pretty much the same and they’re pretty much boring. There are only so many options for women: nightgowns or shorts/pants with tops. Usually I’m just looking at pajama pants; some are fairly nondescript, being a flat color or an unassuming plaid, but others are blatantly obnoxious. And I can’t help but wonder, who wears these garish colors or likes these tacky patterns? I don’t. And the fabric tends to be nothing special, mostly just jersey or cotton or flannel. 

I understand that pajamas are meant for sleeping in, so the biggest factor is whether or not they’re comfortable. No one wants to be in scratchy or too tight pajamas. However, it’d be nice if there was a tiny bit of design in there because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pair of pajama pants that I actually wanted. The design just isn’t there; there’s nothing special about any of it.

So I’m extremely lazy about buying pajama pants because I don’t find them interesting to look at, and therefore I almost never look at them in a store. Inevitably, I reach some sort of desperation point where I need new pajama pants and I just buy the least ugly pair I can find at a store for not much money. I’ve had coats, dresses, tops, skirt and shoes that I’ve loved, but I’ve never had pajama pants that I’ve loved.

I feel like pajama pants should be awesome. I spend a good third of my life in them, and there’s no reason that they should be such fashion rejects. So if I can’t find what I want in a store (and I don’t want to pay a ton for them either), then I’ll just make them myself. I’ve made pajama pants before (and they’re not hard to make), and I think can make a way cuter pair than the lackluster pants I’ve seen in the stores.

Frugal Snob

When it comes to clothes, I think I’m a frugal snob. This may sound contradictory, but really, I think these attributes easily go hand-in-hand. It comes down to wanting good quality at a good price. A large reason I’ve cut back on my shopping at the mall and discount stores (that sell new items) is because I don’t get enough quality. A vast majority of the time I’m disappointed by the items in a store made with cheap materials for prices I find unacceptable (based upon that lack of quality).

But even when the prices are okay, I’m still not very interested in cheap garments because I’m a snob. And I don’t think this is a bad thing; it means I have standards. With so many options available, there must be a line between “worth it” and “not worth it,” and for me, that line is quality. I’ll see some cute garment in a store (from afar), and when I finally touch its fabric I can’t help but think, “I’m not paying $45 for that.” I hate scratchy fabric. I despise cheap-looking fabric. And I’m vastly annoyed when fabric is too thin for the garment (e.g. skirts and dresses that are practically see-through).

When I was younger, cheap fabric never bothered me, but now cheap fabric is a deal-breaker. And even when the fabric is okay, I’ll still balk at the price of a simple garment and think, “I could just sew this.” (I think this especially when the craftsmanship is shoddy, because if I’m going to wear shoddy craftsmanship, it should at least be my own.)

Even the items that I like in a store, I’ve often gotten too frugal for. I went to a clothing store the other day and was in the sale section and saw some fairly nice sweaters on the hanger for about $30 and I didn’t even bother to try them on. I wasn’t desperate for these sweaters (that were fine but not particularly special), and I thought might eventually find something like it at a thrift shop for less.

The thing is, I’m often attracted to expensive things but don’t feel inclined to buy them at full price (although there are always exceptions to the rule). If I go into a higher-end store, the prices feel too steep to me, so I usually walk away with nothing. So the high-end stores are too expensive (even though I like their stuff), and the average stores are too cheap (in quality), so that leaves me with thrift shopping. Where every so often, among the Target and Old Navy rejects I find something special—a quality piece of clothing that I love for a good price.

You Catch More Flies With Honey…

I don’t watch reality TV shows that focus on the “drama” of people “living their lives” because it’s just too painful for me to watch. My curiosity to see what all the fuss is about doesn’t get the better of me (anymore); I just refuse to watch them. There’s already enough depressing stuff in the world, and I know I’ll just get more depressed watching people snipe and fight and name-call each other for “entertainment.”

I doubt most people’s lives are like these reality TV shows (mine certainly isn’t), but every so often reality TV show moments seem to find their way into your life. I had two minor instances in the last few months that I wasn’t a part of, but happen to be at the periphery as things unfolded.

First, I was in a store’s dressing room (that was quite large and had a lot of stalls), and few stalls down I hear two women arguing (and really it was one woman going at another women). I’m not exactly sure what they were arguing about, but the angry one kept saying something about “defending her child” (although I’m not sure why she was defending her child). And I think the other woman apologized a few times but the angry one kept going. The part that stuck in my mind was when the angry one said, “I’m trying to talk to you like a human being,” because I think I rolled my eyes in exasperation. That’s a terrible thing to say to someone; it implies that somehow they aren’t quite human enough to comprehend what is being said to them.

I was very uncomfortable and wanted to get out of there sooner rather than later. By the time I finally left the dressing room stall, I saw a young woman crying and being taken to the side by an employee. I felt bad for her and the store’s employees. As I was leaving the store, I could see and hear the same angry woman talking to a store employee (possibly the manager)—and she was not happy. (I was pretty glad that I didn’t have to deal with her.)

The second incident was in the parking lot of a store. I heard a truck stop suddenly because a car was trying to reverse out from a parking space right in front of it. The man in the truck was pissed (as he was nearly in a car accident) and yelled at the car driver. I don’t remember all the mean things he said except for the “Go back to your own country” part, because I thought that was especially rude.

These two small confrontations don’t compete with the blowouts you see in reality TV shows, but they’re distasteful all the same. It’s perfectly natural that people get angry from time to time, but the way you handle a situation shouldn’t be so rude. The old adage, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” comes to mind; you can get your point across without being so accusatory and mean-spirited. And likely people are more willing to listen and want to help you if you’re not beating them down verbally. Being firm, polite and clear-headed will likely help your cause more than snide remarks and derogatory language.

What? Glass Breaks?

Generally I think of myself as a lucky person, or at the very least not unlucky. Perhaps I was overdue for some bad luck because I haven’t felt terribly lucky lately. Not long ago I shared that I ruined my khaki jacket with a big yellow curry stain, and now, my new glass water bottle has suffered an abysmal fate.

A couple of months ago I got a new glass water bottle because it’s smaller in size than my other glass water bottle. I wanted a water bottle that wouldn’t be too large to carry with me. I bought a different brand than the larger water bottle I have…and perhaps that was a mistake.

My new water bottle was cute, but last weekend I dropped it on the pavement and it shattered—just pieces everywhere. I guess it must have fallen on the weakest part of the bottle where the silicon sleeve didn’t protect it. It was disappointing since it was pretty much brand new…there’s nearly thirty dollars down the drain. So then I had to get a replacement water bottle and I did not buy same brand. While it’s unlikely this wouldn’t happen a second time, I’d rather not test that theory. If I’m going to be disappointed again, I’d rather it be a new something than an old one.

Frugal, Not Cheap

I consider myself frugal rather than cheap. Cheap brings to mind stinginess, where the price of something trumps any other factor and there’s an unwillingness to spend more on something (even if it’s a better product). Frugal seems more positive to me. Yes, the price of something is important, but there are other considerations that are thought of when making a purchase. And in the end there’s a thought-process that asks, “Is this worth it?”

Of course I like getting a good deal on something, but I’m perfectly willing to spend more on a product if I think it’s worth it. For example, there are certain wardrobe items I have a particular desire for quality in: outerwear, handbags and shoes. These items can easily last a long time if they’re made well and properly taken care of so they’re worth spending more on.

The hard part is finding something I want that is well made…because there’s a lot of crap out there. There are quite a few stores that I might have bought a pair of shoes at a couple of years ago that I’ve finally given up on. I eventually came to the conclusion that it would just be a waste of my time to even peruse the shoes because while they may be cute from a distance, up close they’re a mess. They’re made of cheap and uncomfortable materials that I don’t want to walk in; they’re basically disposable shoes that will fall apart in a couple of months. [Pause.] It’s really quite disappointing.

In the end, buying lots of cheap shoes is more expensive than buying one pair of quality shoes. There are times I might need cheap shoes for a specific outfit or event, but for everyday use, quality is best.

Oops! of the Week

Well, it seemed inevitable that I would at some point forget my notebook with all my Word of Day drawings at work, so I’ll have to wait to photograph and post this week’s words later on. I’ll use a separate notebook to draw today and tomorrow’s words in, since I will continue to draw each word each day. I was just hoping to keep my notebook seamlessly continuous with my Word of the Day entries…well, that didn’t happen. Oh well. [Sigh.]

So instead I’ll share my “Oops! of the Week” (more so than forgetting my notebook) that happened when I picked up lunch this week. Generally I bring my lunch to work for the same reasons that most people do: it’s cheaper, faster and easier than going out and buying lunch. But sometimes I don’t have time to cook or feel like treating myself to sometime tasty (that I can’t make) and will buy something nearby.

So I decided on picking up some Indian food from a food cart. And stupidly, as I was walking back to the office, I leaned the food container against my khaki-colored coat and got a curry yellow line across the front of it. Immediately I thought, “Well, that’ll stain. Guess I won’t be wearing this coat anymore.” I was pretty irritated with myself for doing something so dumb. It was a coat I liked and wore often, but it wasn’t a coat I was in love with—it was more of a useful coat. I’d had it for a couple of years and it hadn’t been expensive, so while I’m disappointed that I ruined it, I didn’t feel as bad about it as I could have. [Pause.] Guess I’ll have an excuse to get a new khaki-colored coat.

Unexpected Distaste

Most of us have at least a few go-to meals to make when we’re lazy and don’t feel like cooking. Pasta with marinara sauce has been one of those staple meals for me over the years. I’ve always kept a jar of marinara sauce from the supermarket around for those times I want a fairly quick and effortless meal. It’s been the same brand of sauce for years, but not long ago I took a bite of my pasta with a good douse of marinara sauce and thought, “Wow, this is sweet. I don’t think I like this anymore.”

My taste buds did a 180 that created a bit of havoc for my go-to meal. It just took me by surprise, as just a few days prior I was eating this marinara normally with no qualms. And then BAM! My taste buds no longer appreciated this marinara sauce that had served me so well for years. [Sigh.]

My solution was to just make my own sauce (which turned out fine), but a part of me is somewhat disappointed that I just can’t grab my old instant supermarket marinara sauce and eat it with the same satisfaction that I used to have. I suppose if I really cared about having an instant sauce on hand, I could taste test various brands of prepared marinara sauces to find one that I like. But that sounds like a lot of work (and probably tasting a lot of not-so tasty sauces). And even if I found one that I liked, my taste buds could change again and then I’d be right back to where I started. So in the long run it’s probably better just to make my own sauce that I can adjust as my taste buds adjust (and make enough to freeze so that it’s “instant” when I want it).

That’s the End?

Sometimes the end of an interesting movie or book seems to come suddenly…and with little satisfaction. There are of course rare times where this is kind of ending is appropriate and makes sense (at least to me), but most of the time it frustrates me and I just throw my hands in the air and say “What! That’s it?"

It’s really disappointing when an ending feels unresolved because you’ve invested time and energy into seeing how a character and story develops so you want to feel as though that time was worth it, but instead you feel gypped. Betrayed that your expectations of a satisfying ending were dashed, and that you’re only left with a hollow feeling of discontent.

With a bad from the beginning movie or book, I’ll quickly realize I don’t want any part of it and will set it aside before I waste too much of my time. But a seemingly good movie or book with a bad ending is like a bait-and-switch, because you were prepared to enjoy the story all the way through but instead you’re given an ending that sours the entire story (and even when you recall it later, what stays in your mind is how disappointed in the ending you were). It’s like finishing a delicious meal with a dessert that leaves a bitter aftertaste—and you just can’t seem to get rid of that bad aftertaste.

Earring Check

I usually do the “earring check” as I’m trying on clothing at a store. I double-check that the earrings I have on are still there because it’s easy to lose an earring that has a French hook. Occasionally I can feel the earring tug as it comes out of my ear or I can hear it fall on the ground, but sometimes I receive no sign that it’s left my ear.

Unfortunately, I did not do the earring check the other day when I went thrift shopping. My earrings weren’t really in the forefront of my mind; I was more conscious of the griminess I felt as I was shopping (since the clothing tends to be in various stages of cleanliness). So I was I was trying to keep my hands away from myself until I could wash them.

So I shopped at a couple of stores and when I got home I finally touched my ears and realized I was missing an earring and I didn’t know where I had lost it. It would be too much effort to try and find it; it wasn’t an expensive earring but I liked it and wore it, so I was disappointed in my carelessness. I guess it’s just a reminder to myself to double-check my earrings every time I try on clothing. [Sigh.]

One of a Kind Piece

One of the most frustrating aspects to thrift shopping is finding something really cute but there’s something wrong with it. Most of the time it’s a size issue where the garment is either too big or too small, while other times it’s a quality issue (like it’s missing a zipper or the length has been hacked off but not hemmed). You always have to look closely at the garment at its seams and at the material itself to make sure that it’s in good condition.

Recently I tried on this cute pleated black and white skirt that both fit and that I liked, but when I took a closer look at it there was a coffee stain, and it wasn’t a small drop of a stain that I could ignore blissfully, it was a big blob of spilt coffee. I hadn’t noticed it at first glance because the pleating had covered up a large portion of it, but once I saw it, it was all I could see. I was so disappointed. I would have bought that skirt if there hadn’t been something so glaringly wrong with it.

It’s so disappointing to find something you want but you just can’t get it. At a department store you could just find a replica of that garment, but there’s no such luck at a thrift shop—there’s only that one garment. There are no other options; you can take it or leave it. It’s funny how the garment used to be a clone of many in a department store, but with time it has been transformed into a one of a kind piece…special.

Overhyped and Underwhelmed

With some movies there’s a lot of positivity surrounding it, with both critics and the general public loving it. There seems to be a general consensus that it’s a fantastic movie with winning characters and a good plot, and this in turn makes me want to see it. Yet more often than not, while I’m watching the movie in question I’m waiting for it to get good. And then I realize that this is the movie and I can just expect more of what I’ve already been watching and while it’s not a bad movie, it’s also not a great one—it’s just fine.

So then I feel a bit out of the loop because I’m not quite understanding why people were so “wowed” by it; perhaps the movie is better than average, but it still wouldn’t be something that I would emphatically recommend to someone. It’s a movie to watch when you’re bored or when it’s on TV, but it’s not a movie to have such strong feelings for.

The fault lies mostly with me: I expected too much. I wanted this movie to be awesome. I expected this movie to be awesome. I thought of the other movies that I consider great and expected this one to be at that same level…only it wasn’t. It’s just rather disappointing. [Sigh.] I probably would have enjoyed the movie more had I had no preconceived notions of its greatness, which only left me feeling somewhat underwhelmed and unsatisfied.