How-to Avoid Christmas before Christmas

As I’ve said before, I like Christmas day just fine—it’s the weeks leading up to Christmas that I so dislike. I hate the hustle and bustle. I hate the noise. I hate the pressure. I hate the consumerism. [Pause.] Christmas does not bring out the best in me. So in order to minimize the reminders of Christmas that I’m surrounded by on a daily basis, I basically try to hibernate as much as possible. This is what I do (or rather don’t do).

Avoid going to nonessential stores
Is there any place that I need to go to besides the supermarket? The answer is almost always no. I admit, last week I went to a nonessential store because I had $10 free to spend there (so I got a peeler for a grand total of $0.19…score!). The store already had an array of utterly unnecessary Christmas paraphernalia that I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at. I just hate seeing Christmas crap that is two steps away from being in a landfill (yes, I’m talking to you ugly Christmas tree mug stuffed with hot chocolate for $14.99. No thank you.). 

Avoid going anywhere during peak hours
Too many people=unpleasant experience. I don’t want to be anywhere near a mall during the weekend because the traffic is particularly terrible. And I certainly don’t want to be inside a store when it’s busier and has longer checkout lines. I want to be in and out of a store as quickly as possible. And while I can’t control when everyone else shops, I can control when I go shopping.

Avoid watching TV
When I was a kid, people actually watched TV and commercials were unavoidable. Now with all of the streaming services available, it’s easier to avoid commercials altogether…which is nice. Or you could just watch less TV. Because watching TV commercials for Christmas anything is just awful. Show someone how much you love them by buying them THIS! Of course, once the shiny newness of that present wears off, it’s going in the closet (just like all the other stuff you don’t use) to be forgotten until you do a massive cleaning and donate it to a thrift store. [Sigh.]

So far this holiday season, I think I’ve done a fairly good job of avoiding being overloaded by Christmas. But things have only begun—Black Friday is just around the corner. And I still have another five weeks to go…

Things I Didn’t Buy 7

I went to an estate sale and some shops and saw a few interesting things. First up, this cool scale.

Here are a lot of cute little bottles.

Remember Beanie Babies? This is where they end up: in boxes at an estate sale…no one wants them.

I just thought this mixer was interesting.

Chinese Checkers game.

This Kraft wood box I considered buying—it’s awesome. But I resisted…

And this just was sitting in a shop and it amused me: a paper shark attacking a boat.

Sunglasses Part Deux

Last year I wrote about how I hate shopping for sunglasses and was very relieved to have finally bought a satisfactory pair. I’ve had those same sunglasses ever since then and have been happy with them. [Pause.] Until I recently dropped them on the ground and a lens popped out. I tried to put the lens back in, but it just wasn’t happening. I hadn’t spent much on these sunglasses but it was still disappointing to damage them.

Luckily, I had seen that the same sunglasses were still at the store that I’d initially bought them at. When I saw them about a month ago, I considered getting another pair as a backup but decided against it. At the time I thought my sunglasses were fine and I didn’t really need another pair exactly like it. I guess hindsight is 20-20. [Sigh.]

Well, now I did want a pair exactly like it. Why try to find something better when what I had was working well? I didn’t want to indefinitely search for a new pair of sunglasses that might be better than the last pair (because the odds were against me that I’d find something anytime soon). So I happily bought the exact same pair of sunglasses. Hopefully these new sunglasses will last as long (or longer) than the last pair.

Hooked on Navy

I try not to go to fabric stores too often because inevitably I’ll see fabrics that are pretty and I may be tempted to get more. And I don’t need any more fabric; I have a sizable stash and adding to it isn’t necessary.

That’s not to say I never go. Sometimes I just want to look and see if anything speaks to me. But this time I went because I had a gift certificate (that’s right, a certificate—a paper one) to a fabric store that I intended to use. I went in thinking, “I’m going to get color. A colorful pattern or a nice red or plum.” [Pause.] That didn’t happen. I’m just drawn to navy. Like a homing beacon, I just find my way to it. That’s the color I like. That’s the color I want.

In my fabric stash I have many fabrics that aren’t navy because that’s what the store had on sale or that’s the fabric that the estate sale had. But when given a choice of any fabric in a store, my instinct is for navy. It’s a hard habit to break, and perhaps one not worth breaking. Because if it’s a fabric I love, then that’s reason enough to get it. I shouldn’t just pick a different color merely because it’s a different color; after sewing a garment, I may not love it as much because it’s not in the color I really wanted.

So I got these two fabrics that are navy-based. One is straight up navy with a very light pattern that feels more like a texture. And the other I got has some color in it—a bit of red (I do love navy and red together) and a brighter blue. I was on the fence on getting the second fabric because it has a plaid pattern and I’m a bit scared of sewing plaids (as I have avoided it completely), but I thought it could be cute.

I’ve just sort of accepted that the bulk of my wardrobe is white, black and navy. I have garments that are other colors, but I tend to favor these timeless neutrals. Maybe this will change over time; I didn’t love navy 10 years ago, in another 10 years, who knows? But for now, I love navy.

But it’s Free…

Free! This magical word instantly piques people’s interest. Who doesn’t love free stuff? Even if you don’t want the thing that’s free, somehow you’re still willing to get it just because it’s free. It’s a popular ploy to draw you in. There are buy one get one free offers. There are free gifts with purchases. There are free trials. There are free store reward cards. There are free songs and books to download. There are movies and TV shows that can be watched for free. People just want something for nothing.

But the cost of “free” can be higher than anticipated. Do you spend the extra money to push you over the minimum purchase requirement in order to get the free gift? Do you have a free trial of a service (e.g. Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc.) and forget to cancel it before it charges you? Do you spend more so you “save more” on your store rewards card? There are a lot of ways that “free” doesn’t equate to free.

Now that the Christmas season is upon us, I’m sure I’ll be seeing more “free” stuff that tries to entice me into spending money. I’ll admit that “free” may initially grab my attention, but I try to ignore it and buy items I would get regardless of the “free” aspect tied to it. I like free stuff as much as the next person, but it always comes down to: is it worth it? Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t—it often depends on whether or not you find the strings attached to it acceptable. [Pause.] For me, I usually forgo the freebie to avoid the strings altogether.

The Absent-Minded Lesson

It’s often the mundane tasks that I’ll make a stupid mistake because I’m not giving it my full attention. It could be because I’m in a rush or feeling tired or I’m thinking of something else, so I’ll mess up unbeknownst to me (and will later kick myself over it).

Somehow grocery shopping will get the better of me; it’s the bagging of groceries that I’ll make a dumb mistake: I’ll forget a bag. This time is was some meat. A few months back it was a bag of apples. The time before that was meat (but I remembered about it in the parking lot and went back in the store and luckily it was still there—which was nice).

I suppose this time I could’ve gone back to the supermarket to see if my meat was still there, but considering the time and drive, it just didn’t seem worth it. Fifteen minutes to get there, park, go inside and find the cashier to ask about my forgotten meat and then drive back seemed like a lot of effort—especially if my meat was no longer there. It was late and I was tired, so I cut my losses. It sucks but maybe this time the lesson of forgotten groceries will finally stick. [Pause.] I’d really like not to relearn this lesson again. [Sigh.]

I Don’t Want to be Your Target Demographic

Not long ago when I bought something at a store, the cashier asked for my phone number. She just asked in a matter-of-fact manner, like it was no big deal, as if I would just willingly part with that bit of personal information. I blinked in surprised and answered a resounding, “No.” And she replied, “Okay,” and proceeded to finish my transaction. [Pause.] But I guess it works some of the time as the woman who checked out before me freely gave her phone number. (My only question is: Why would you do that?)

There is no reason that this store needed my phone number and I wasn’t going to give it to them just because they asked for it. It’s bad enough that some stores ask for your zip code when you check out (but at least that’s less invasive than your phone number). One time I was fool enough to give my email address to get my receipt (because I thought it might be nice to be “paperless”) and consequently got all this spam email about whatever they were selling. [Pause.] Lesson learned.

Quite frankly, I think all of it is quite unappealing. I don’t want to be your target demographic. I don’t care about your company having more precise information about those that buy your items so you can sell to them better. This is not my responsibility. Have a focus group if you want to learn more and leave me out of it. I have no desire to help you sell your products. Isn’t it enough that I’m buying something at your store? You’re making money so stop being so greedy with trying to get more out of me. It’s annoying…and it doesn’t make me want to shop at your store.

Frugal Snob

When it comes to clothes, I think I’m a frugal snob. This may sound contradictory, but really, I think these attributes easily go hand-in-hand. It comes down to wanting good quality at a good price. A large reason I’ve cut back on my shopping at the mall and discount stores (that sell new items) is because I don’t get enough quality. A vast majority of the time I’m disappointed by the items in a store made with cheap materials for prices I find unacceptable (based upon that lack of quality).

But even when the prices are okay, I’m still not very interested in cheap garments because I’m a snob. And I don’t think this is a bad thing; it means I have standards. With so many options available, there must be a line between “worth it” and “not worth it,” and for me, that line is quality. I’ll see some cute garment in a store (from afar), and when I finally touch its fabric I can’t help but think, “I’m not paying $45 for that.” I hate scratchy fabric. I despise cheap-looking fabric. And I’m vastly annoyed when fabric is too thin for the garment (e.g. skirts and dresses that are practically see-through).

When I was younger, cheap fabric never bothered me, but now cheap fabric is a deal-breaker. And even when the fabric is okay, I’ll still balk at the price of a simple garment and think, “I could just sew this.” (I think this especially when the craftsmanship is shoddy, because if I’m going to wear shoddy craftsmanship, it should at least be my own.)

Even the items that I like in a store, I’ve often gotten too frugal for. I went to a clothing store the other day and was in the sale section and saw some fairly nice sweaters on the hanger for about $30 and I didn’t even bother to try them on. I wasn’t desperate for these sweaters (that were fine but not particularly special), and I thought might eventually find something like it at a thrift shop for less.

The thing is, I’m often attracted to expensive things but don’t feel inclined to buy them at full price (although there are always exceptions to the rule). If I go into a higher-end store, the prices feel too steep to me, so I usually walk away with nothing. So the high-end stores are too expensive (even though I like their stuff), and the average stores are too cheap (in quality), so that leaves me with thrift shopping. Where every so often, among the Target and Old Navy rejects I find something special—a quality piece of clothing that I love for a good price.

Shopping Progression

As a teenager I loved the mall. I spent hours at the mall; friends and I would shop, eat, walk around and just hang out. I can’t say that I usually bought a ton of items (sometimes the only thing I bought was lunch), but the mall was a go-to destination for me for years. 

Later I moved onto discount stores that sold new clothing because I could buy more items for less money. The stores themselves were less glamorous in presentation than the mall, but I was fine sacrificing some ambiance for lower prices. Perhaps that’s where I started to hone my (clothing) hunting skills among long racks of sort of organized stuff and got accustomed to paying less for items.

Now, I prefer thrift shops. It seems like it should be the reverse; that as I grew older (and could afford it) that I would prefer shiny new items to used ones, but more often than not, this isn’t the case. I don’t go to the mall with excitement any more and I don’t want to browse for hours—I want to be in and out…quickly.

It’s not that I don’t shop for new items at the mall or other discount stores (with new items), because I do, but I tend to go to those places for specific items (e.g. shoes). Once in a while I’ll drop by the mall to see what there is (and may find something I like), but it often just feels rather sterile and generic. I prefer thrift shops for the surprises.

It’s fun to shop at thrift shops because there’s such a variety of stuff, and I feel like I can get some good deals because it’s (almost always) cheaper than buying something brand new. For me, it’s usually best if I’m not looking for something specific at a thrift shop, and I can easily spend hours browsing; I’ll just see what they have and see if there’s anything catches my eye. It’s about finding something unexpected; something I didn’t know I wanted until I saw it; and perhaps something different than new items being sold in stores (since I’m not a terribly trendy person to begin with). It’s just more fun.

Frugal, Not Cheap

I consider myself frugal rather than cheap. Cheap brings to mind stinginess, where the price of something trumps any other factor and there’s an unwillingness to spend more on something (even if it’s a better product). Frugal seems more positive to me. Yes, the price of something is important, but there are other considerations that are thought of when making a purchase. And in the end there’s a thought-process that asks, “Is this worth it?”

Of course I like getting a good deal on something, but I’m perfectly willing to spend more on a product if I think it’s worth it. For example, there are certain wardrobe items I have a particular desire for quality in: outerwear, handbags and shoes. These items can easily last a long time if they’re made well and properly taken care of so they’re worth spending more on.

The hard part is finding something I want that is well made…because there’s a lot of crap out there. There are quite a few stores that I might have bought a pair of shoes at a couple of years ago that I’ve finally given up on. I eventually came to the conclusion that it would just be a waste of my time to even peruse the shoes because while they may be cute from a distance, up close they’re a mess. They’re made of cheap and uncomfortable materials that I don’t want to walk in; they’re basically disposable shoes that will fall apart in a couple of months. [Pause.] It’s really quite disappointing.

In the end, buying lots of cheap shoes is more expensive than buying one pair of quality shoes. There are times I might need cheap shoes for a specific outfit or event, but for everyday use, quality is best.

Good Enough Sunglasses

Even if you love to shop, there are probably certain things you hate to shop for (swimsuits spring to mind). For me, one item I don’t enjoy buying are sunglasses. I want sunglasses and definitely need them when it gets sunny, but finding a pair I want is hard for me. I’ll try on sunglasses and they’re “too square,” “too round,” “too big” or “too small.”  [Pause.] They’re always “too” something. Sunglasses have to be the right shape or you look funny.

I’d had my old pair of sunglasses for quite sometime (maybe around three years) and I still liked them. They were nothing fancy, just under $20 simple black sunglasses that I thought looked good. But I wasn’t gentle with them and they landed many-a-time on the pavement until the lens became noticeably scratched in the center. I couldn’t ignore it any longer…I needed a new pair of sunglasses (much to my chagrin).

Women’s sunglasses often make me sigh in discontent because more than likely, they’ve been uglified. The front of the sunglasses may look okay and then I turn them to the side and BAM! my eyes are assaulted with ugliness. As though somehow, just because I’m female, I want my sunglasses to be bedazzled with rhinestones or have some tacky pattern or have some terrible “design” element that men’s glasses would never have.

I’m also rather annoyed by how many sunglasses have the name of brand on the side of it (as if I want to be a walking advertisement for a brand). The sunglasses I’m looking at are not high end…at all. They’re average “who cares” brands. They’re sunglasses that cost under $20. These aren’t brands people flaunt (not that I’m a brand flaunter anyway). But seriously, the name branding on the side is unnecessary and usually just makes the sunglasses uglier.

But after trying quite a few pairs of sunglasses, I finally did have success. I bought an unexpected pair of sunglasses that weren’t entirely black but had a bit of rose color in there. They were the most flattering pair I could find, and quite frankly I didn’t want to continue my search. They were good enough sunglasses. If I stumble upon a better pair later then that would be great, but for now, my search is concluded. (Thank goodness.)

…And I Came Out with Shoes

It seems inevitable that when you’re shopping for something specific, you don’t find it...and instead find something else. Not long ago I went shopping for a small bag for a wedding (which I never found), but I did find shoes. I don’t need more shoes, but somehow shoes are hard to resist for me—there are just so many types of shoes for so many types of occasions.

When I found these red patent leather shoes, I instantly thought they could replace my old pair of red patent leather shoes (that were just about dead—they were scratched, cracked and the heel was run down to the nail). Generally I’m not excited about overtly shiny and flashy things, but I had unexpectedly loved my old red patent leather shoes because they added that pop of color that some of my outfits desperately needed.

Months ago when I realized the poor state of my old red shoes, I started keeping one eye open for a replacement pair every time I went shopping. But I couldn’t seem to find the right shoes because there was always something not quite right about a possible pair: the red was the wrong shade or the heel was too high or it was uncomfortable. So it was a welcome surprise to finally find a pair of patent red shoes that I liked. [Pause.] I knew if I waited long enough eventually I would find what I was looking for.

What’s Your Size?

It’s irritating to me that women’s clothing sizes in the U.S. are inconsistent across the board. I’m envious of men’s clothing, where pant waist sizes are simply in inches. It’s so easy. And while men’s brands probably still have their fitting differences, the starting point from the get-go is so simple. Men would probably never shop again if they had to go through the wide range of size variations that women’s clothing has.

In women’s clothing you have to hunt for your size. Depending on the store and the brand and the year it was made, sizes can be quite different. You have to store in your mind which brands tend to run large and which ones tend to run small in order to find your size more efficiently. And yet still, often it seems nearly pointless to go by the size the garment states it is. Sometimes I just put the garment near my waist and eyeball it rather than trust a number that means so little.

It’s just rather ridiculous; the sizing system has no meaning. A size 2 today is not what a size 2 was a generation or two ago. When I look at my sewing patterns, they start at a size 6 (rather than a size 0), and I’m guessing that these pattern sizes are truer to what women’s sizes used to be before the sizes got skewed. This is apparent when I go thrift shopping when my “size” fluctuates between about five sizes depending when the garment was made; the older the garment, the higher number my size becomes.

The clothing sizing system plays on our vanity because then we never have to know our waist size in inches, because a hard measurement in inches would just make us feel fat. So if we’re just too vain to do waist sizes in inches, then could we at least have a standard system that doesn’t fluctuate? Keep the current size system of 0, 2, 4, 6, etc. but have it actually mean the same thing in all brands. I just want the clothing sizes to stop fluctuating and start having some consistency.  

When Resignation Reigns

I’m not going to lie—I’m particular about things. I was a picky child, and I’m a picky adult. I have very specific ideas of what I want in clothing and shoes. My hunt for knee-high boots has been a two-year string of disappointments because I’m picky. I just can’t help it; if I’m willing to spend money on something, I want it to be right. I want my boots to be:

• Versatile (capable of dressing up or down, whether I’m wearing a skirt or jeans)
• Good quality (made of a nice leather that’s not too rough)
• Comfortable (it can have a heel or wedge, but not too tall)
• Fit (they should fit comfortably snug around my legs)
• Price (I have a price range that I want to keep within)

This really limits what I’m looking for at a store. No riding boots because they’re too casual. No stiletto heels because I need to be able to walk more than two blocks in them. No large bands of elastic that I find so ugly. [Pause.] Let’s just say there’s a lot of things I don’t want. [Sigh.]

Not long ago I bemoaned about big boots and my inability to find a pair that I not only liked but also fit me properly. Recently, I once again found a pair of boots online that looked promising so I went to the store to try them on. I found the boots on display and the leather felt pretty nice and I liked the style of the boot so my hopes were high. However, when I tried them on, while comfortable, they were once again too large around my legs. I was so very disappointed (especially since my beloved old boots and these new boots were the same brand, yet the fit was so vastly different).

After I relayed my disappointment about the fit, the salesperson mentioned that I might consider getting them altered and I told her I’d think about it and left the store. I continued to shop, though mostly my mind was on her suggestion of alterations. I didn’t really want to take that extra step and expense of getting a pair of boots altered, and yet, it seemed my options were limited. The shift in boot size appears to be pervasive; it seems as though the average customer shoe companies have in mind for their boots is not someone like me, and there was little I could do to remedy the situation.

Finally, I decided to just buy the boots and get them altered. I came to the conclusion that the chances of me finding a pair of boots that I loved and fit me were practically non-existent. I’d be waiting forever…and I just couldn’t wait that long. I was so tired of looking for the perfect pair of boots. I just wanted a pair of boots for the winter that would take the place of my beloved no longer waterproof boots. So I just had to suck it up and get these new boots altered.

What’s the Difference?

Having some options is usually a good thing. You don’t want to be stuck with something just because it was the only thing available. However sometimes I find it overwhelming the shear number of options available to me when I’m shopping for something. Obviously there are different brands, but then within a brand there are usually numerous versions of the virtually the same product. Sometimes I’ll stand in an aisle and stare at the various products and wonder how different are they really? (Perhaps the company just added an extra ingredient to an existing product and put it in a different box and just marketed it as an entirely new product.)

If you already know what you want when you walk into a store, then you’ll ignore all of the other options and just pluck out your chosen item. However, if the item you usually buy gets discontinued or they change it in some way that you dislike, then you’re forced to find a replacement. And then comes the staring in the aisle. Then comes reading the copy on the boxes to compare the products. Then comes comparing the prices. And it all turns out to be quite a bit of work. [Sigh.]

I was in the toothpaste aisle at a store and was overwhelmed by all the choices there. Besides fighting cavities there were so many other decisions to make: paste or gel? Whitening toothpaste? (And if so, which kind of whitening toothpaste? Whitening that fights tarter? Whitening that uses baking soda? Whitening that’s clinically proven?) Or do you want toothpaste that reinforces enamel or helps gums stay strong or germ fighting for 12 hours? I’m surprised there's not a little chart in the aisle so you can compare all the toothpastes to find just which one is right for you…because I kind of felt like I needed one.

Sometimes I wish things were more streamlined because it seems like any item you might need in your daily life has at least ten different options (e.g. toothpaste, soap, shampoo, detergent, etc.). It’s just such an ordeal to select anything. And while I don’t want too few options, I also don’t want too many—especially since most of the options seem fairly redundant to me. [Pause.] Redundant.

Gateway Garments

People are generally fairly consistent with their clothing preferences. When I’m shopping for clothes, I’m naturally drawn towards certain styles and colors (that are often not unlike the items I already own). It doesn’t happen consciously; in fact sometimes I’ll want to get something different so I’ll have some variation in my closet (only that usually doesn’t end up happening). [Pause.] It’s just that I already know what I like and tend to make a beeline to those items.

Sometimes my eyes will come across something that while I like in theory, I can already sense won’t suit me. There are some styles and trends that I think are cute (like a striped T-shirt or polka dot dress) but then I’ll try them on only to be somewhat dismayed; I may like it…but just not on me. [Sigh.] I’ve been quite consistent in my buying habits up until the other weekend, when I suddenly bought three items that I never thought I would.

Can’t Find What You’re Looking For

I’ve been on the hunt for ballet flats for a while now because the ballet flats I have loved and owned for a couple of years are just hanging on by a thread (which saddens me greatly). So I need a new pair of ballet flats to be replacements…yet I haven’t had much success. It’s not like there isn’t an array of ballet flats to choose from in stores, it’s just that I can’t seem to find what I’m looking for because none of them meet my requirements.

First, I’m not going to pay an excessive amount for a pair of fairly simple flats. Second, they should be comfortable (this means they can’t be made out of some super cheap material that makes me feel like I might as well be walking barefoot on the concrete). Third (and most obvious), they should be cute. The cute factor is what draws me into finding out if they’re then comfortable and affordable.

However, it’s been hard for me to find ballet flats that I actually like because they should be simple yet special. And it seems as though most of the “specialness” found in many ballet flats are attached flowers and bows or bedazzling. This is all way too girly for me. I don’t want to wear a pair of flats that looks like cheerleader pom-poms died on my shoes. It’s just too much. [Sigh.] And the rare times I found acceptably cute ballet flats there was something wrong with them. They weren’t comfortable. Or they were the wrong color. Or they weren’t available in my size. Or they were just close to what I wanted but not close enough.

It’s not as though I have an image in my mind of the pair of flats I want—I’ll just know it when I see it (which makes it like a really lame scavenger hunt). And it seems that no matter how many stores I check or how many times I check, I just can’t find the one item I want. I’ll find cute tops and skirts and wedges, but no ballet flats. [Sigh.] I think it’s one of those times where I just have to “give up” and not try so hard, because then I’ll just (eventually) stumble upon what I want. Perhaps months from now I’ll finally find the ballet flats I’ve been wanting, waiting for me as a welcome surprise. (At least I hope so.)