You’re #2 Card

Everyone wants to be number one. Number one is (obviously) the best. We play to win; we don’t compete to be number two. We want to be number one with the prestige and big trophy (that we can then lord over everybody else).

As my brother’s birthday was approaching, I hadn’t really given any thought about his birthday card. And then I unexpectedly had an idea for a card that I thought was perfect for him. I’m not one for mushy and overly sentimental cards; it often just feels forced to me. I don’t talk like a sweet greeting card that spouts sugary rhetoric, so I don’t want to give a greeting card that’s not me. [And really, if I somehow gave something that was sincerely saccharine-filled, I’m sure the receiver would look at me suspiciously and wonder what was wrong with it (or wrong with me). “This card is just too nice.” (Pause.) “Are you dying?”]

I want my cards to be true. For my brother’s birthday, I decided to make him a card that further clarified the established hierarchy that he’s number two (while I of course, am number one). And this is true. My brother was born second. He can’t be first…ever. (Okay, so I took a bit of liberty with the spare, backup and afterthought part to put the dagger in him a little bit, but I’m only partly serious.) And I softened the blow by saying he’s a fine number two. [Pause.] For me, I’m practically gushing with praise.

And the important thing is when he opened the card he laughed. He thought it was amusing. And that’s all I was going for.