Today is Thanksgiving, but don’t you think you ought be getting ready for Christmas? Although Thanksgiving is one of the major holidays in the U.S., it’s nothing in comparison to the mammoth that is Christmas. Because an entire month of Christmas shopping just isn’t enough—apparently you ought to be chomping at the bit to be shopping for Christmas presents…today.
Black Friday used to start around 6 a.m. Friday, and then
it got pushed back to 4 a.m., and then it got pushed back to midnight. And
now, there’s no more Friday to push back on—so why not start on Thursday at 8
p.m.? Because how long does it take to eat Thanksgiving dinner? A few hours, and
then what? Spend more time with
family and friends? Try to cram another
slice of pumpkin pie into your already bloated stomach? Go to sleep early
because your family has exhausted
you? Why do any of these things when you can shop?
Sure, you’re stuffed and sleepy, but perhaps after a power
nap you can awake and find your way to stores to spend, spend, spend. Because why
wait for tomorrow when you can shop today?
And in your swollen and sluggish state you’re sure to be surrounded by shoppers
in equally terrific moods, and while
lethargic from the food coma you’re all in, that will in no way impact the wonderful purchasing decisions you’re all
sure to make.
Can you sense how ridiculous I think shifting Black Friday
to Thursday is? It’s bad enough that Black Friday exists; does it really need to infringe upon Thursday? I say no, it
doesn’t. Once Thursday ends, the following three
days is a hellish shopping nightmare—let Thursday remain to be the calm before
the storm. Let Thursday just be
Thanksgiving. [Pause.] Or perhaps it’s just easier
to give Thursday up and let it transform into Black Thursday and just move
Thanksgiving to Wednesday. That would solve everything…until they started
pushing Black Thursday onto Black Wednesday.
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